What are the top ten? Do you prefer Ewoks or Bounty Hunters? Old or new? CGI or... slightly less CGI? Here goes...
Before you all go out and buy a lightsaber and come looking for me, this is purely opinion...and of course I'm kidding, as if this list upsets, you then you would obviously already own a lightsaber. This is my list, it's debatable of course, but it's how I see it.
Before each blog I like to give honourable mentions to the ones that didn't make MY list. However, in this case there's only one I deemed too poor to make the top 10 and that's...
(not so) Honourable Mention
Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
A terrible movie with no redeeming features in my eyes. General Grievous is awful, that thing Ewan McGregor rides is shockingly bad, and there's just sooo much CGI you feel like it's a computer game, not a movie. To quote Blackadder: - It starts badly, tails off a bit in the middle and the less said about the end the better.
Now onto the top 10 proper, who will be the Top Dog?
10 Episode II - Attack of the Clones
Really scraping the barrel now, but this one does have the redeeming features of cutting Jar Jar down completely and introducing the legend of Christopher Lee as Dooku. We also see the purple lightsabre in action in a decent, but overly CGI'd semi-finale. The darkness of rescuing Anakin's mother was done well but then the ridiculous metallurgy assault course and the Yoda lightsabre fight at the end left this movie bottom of the list.
9 Episode VIII - The Last Jedi
So Luke is (still) basically rubbish despite being the best/only Jedi for 30yrs and most of this movie is completely forgettable... save the end where Luke becomes less rubbish and then pops off to see Han. Could have been so much better and felt lazy for the most part. Nothing else to say about this one really, very disappointing.
8 Episode I - The Phantom Menace
I know, I know, it's rubbish and it's got Jar Jar in it, but it also has Liam Neeson, Darth Maul and no Hayden Christensen. Natalie Portman is good, and it's the best title from the prequal movies. The beginning and end battle scenes are pretty good apart from all the CGI and bad acting from the extra pilots given lines in the space battle scene, along with baby Anakin blowing up the mother ship and droid army by 'accident'. The plot is actually not bad, but the use of special effects killed it, and it didn't feel very good at all. Kids love the pod racing, and any adult watching it more than once does so mainly for Darth Maul.
7 Episode VII - The Force Awakens
Good and bad this one. Feels like how someone thought a new Star Wars movie should be made and designed it by committee. Toned down the CGI and silly characters, although Maz Kanata has eyes that look like an anus, and WTF is Snoke? The plot and backstory are ridiculous. Luke ran away because the dark side is back? What? We've got Han and Chewie back with irrefutable proof Leia hates Chewie, when she comforts Rey after (spoiler alert) Han dies. This after he didn't get his medal at the end of New Hope either when she was dishing them out. Black X-Wing is good, starkiller base is awful, Finn being able to use a lightsabre is awful, I just don't like Adam Driver as the bad guy, more like a stroppy teenager, and what a waste of Gwendoline Christie as (the easily defeated) Captain Phasma.
6. Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker
It's not great, but Lando is back and I like the discovering of Palpatine powers to stop a ship taking off. The end is pretty decent too, with some of the better dialogue the other movies (outside the originals) lack desperately. Feels a bit more real and the rogue stormtrooper is more in the background as he should be. Pretty forgettable for the most part but just edges it from the others for having fractionally more memorable scenes. Best of a poor bunch.
5. Solo
Although the lead character couldn't possibly fill the title characters boots, and doesn't really get close (should have been Chris Pratt), it's a movie that's a bit of fun, which has been lacking from the movies outside the original trilogy. It doesn't take itself too seriously and you go along with it, enjoying the ride even though it doesn't feel as 'Star Wars' as others in the series. I must admit I'm struggling a little, as I don't really like any of them as movies, after 1-4 in this list, so am trying to find ones with the most parts I like.
4. Rogue One
Easily the best of any of the new films and feels a genuine extension of the original movies. Great cast and casting, decent plot and not too heavy on the special effects like certain prequals. A few references to the other films, but done better, and Forest Whitaker is simply sublime. Poor old Vincent Price doesn't look too good and they should have either waited, not done it or got chatGPT involved with his rendering, but that end scene as the prelude to the first scene in New Hope is spinetingling.
3. Episode VI - Return of the Jedi
I almost put it above Empire as I like a happy ending, unless I don't like the actors (Jamie Foxx, Daniel Craig, etc). Jedi has the best overall battle scenes at the end whether you like Ewok's or not, it's a triple threat, space battle, ground battle and light sabre battle. Ok, it's a bit weird they are all generals after not really doing anything but as we don't really care about any other characters it's fair enough. The only real critique other than this is the way Vader goes down to Luke at the end, but you can't have everything. Anyone not having the original trilogy as 1,2,3 (in any order) is either too young to appreciate decent dialogue and acting or is simply an idiot.
2. Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
Ok, firstly I need to apologise to the geeks as I'm sure Boba Fett has a long and intriguing backstory in the Star Wars literature etc, but I never got why he was so popular, he doesn't do anything in the movies other than get knocked into a pit. For normal people who don't know (or care about) all the background character development, he's over-rated. Not really an apology I know. Empire is brilliant, there's no denying it. The stories separate and the plot is fast paced and funny. The exchanges between Han and Leia and the introduction of Yoda (Fozzy Bear) elevating it to another level. One of the most shocking revelations in movie history at the end and the baddies winning the day for once. All round brilliant film.
1. Episode IV - A New hope
Top Dog
Controversial as I know most of you love to geek out over 'Empire' and how dark it is, but the fact is that Boba Fett is over-rated, Yoda is Fozzy Bear and everything on Hoth is entertaining but a little ridiculous. New Hope has the opening scene that changed the sci-fi genre forever, first time we see lightsabres, X-wings, Darth Vader, Death Star, Star Destroyers, Jedi and the Millennium Falcon to mention but a few. The Obi-wan/Darth Vader lightsabre fight, although not brilliantly choreographed, does have the best dialogue. Storm trooper hitting his head, walking carpets and bulls eyeing womp rats back home. It's the best one. End of.
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